So - Billy Eilish got me thinking today…..

I read an interview and watched a video she made which talks about her feelings about the external pressure on her to look a certain way. In other interviews I have read her words on why she wears baggier-style clothing rather than form-fitting or skin-showing like many other singing and performing artists (in an attempt to not have people focusing on her body and to avoid succumbing to the pressure). It brought out two reactions in me. One, a feeling of sadness that she has to deal with that crap, that as incredibly talented, hard-working and successful as she is, she still had to deal with the same feelings of not being “ideal” in her body as many of the rest of us do. Two - and the best part - I love how she is taking this on and feeling her own empowerment to just NOT accept this! Especially given her relatively young age and the massive influence she has on so many young people - she WILL make a difference by freeing herself from the insane expectation put on artists/celebrities like herself but also the rest of us. The harm done to people trying to live up to some unrealistic ideal and one that keeps changing over time anyway (which you’re about to read!) can be immense. It can literally destroy self-esteem and the ability to  think we CAN be successful and happy. It can make us hide, and not fulfill our own potential in life. It’s sad. And, completely unavoidable too. 

So - GO BILLY!!!! I SO love that she is standing up for herself and the world in this way and am behind her 100%. Billy Eilish is my hero, not just because she is so talented and fun with her music, but I know she will change lives, especially young women’s lives there is no doubt. 

Here is a quote from it: "Some people hate what I wear. Some people praise it. Some people use it to shame others. Some people use it to shame me. But I feel you watching, always, and nothing I do goes unseen," says Eilish, slowly, over a hypnotic backbeat. "So, whether I feel your stares, your disapproval, or your sigh of relief—if I lived by them, I’d never be able to move. Would you like me to be smaller? Weaker? Softer? Taller? Would you like me to be quiet? Do my shoulders provoke you? Does my chest? Am I my stomach, my hips?” As viewers catch up to the original clip, the message becomes infinitely clear: Though Eilish has struggled with body image issues in the past, those are her own. The opinions of others should be taken elsewhere.

(If you want to watch and read for yourself, here is one link where you can find it:   https://www.vogue.com/article/billie-eilish-body-image-short-film-body-image ) 

So let’s dive into what I’m talking about……(Okay, bear with me, NERD ALERT!  hahaha)

 I’m sure you’re well aware of how the media (social media, television, movies, magazines, clothing models, celebrities etc.) influences our perception of what we “should” look like, what the “ideal” men’s and women’s physique should look like. But today I took a wander through the “interwebs” today checking this out and it really was fascinating! Seeing the drawings, art and photos that show this really got me thinking about how basically for all human existence there has been an “ideal” for both men and women’s bodies that many people have tried to fit into during that time period. I also was amazed at how dramatic the swings of “ideal” have been when all along people’s bodies are what they are: basically similar overall (compared to other mammals, us humans basically look pretty similar) but also slightly unique (height, weight, natural shape). I wondered if people felt the same societal pressure waaayyyy back when that many do now to try to shape their bodies to look more like some almost random “ideal”?

Spending some time today reading about it was interesting just to see how dramatically the “ideal” body type has changed over time but it also confirmed for me that there is no good REASON to feel pressured to try to chase and conform to whatever the “ideal” is today. No good reason that relates to GOOD HEALTH which is really what we should be aiming for with our own unique bodies. 

Really, it all just makes no sense to chase an “ideal” because it really is random and meaningless! And yet it was way back when, and is now still a thing. The other interesting thing to me is that no matter the century or decade, the “ideal” body type of the time has tended to be one that is really difficult for most people  - men and women both - to attain and sustain. And it’s not always been the most healthy “ideal” either. 

So as interesting as all that may be, the problem is that is causes harm to many people mentally, emotionally and physically sometimes. Studies have shown that a significant percentage of society, women in particular, measure their self-worth in large part based on how they look. They get reinforced in this with all the messages we get in the media of all types. People tend to want to “fit in” and  - to the detriment of some who suffer under the pressure to conform - this can apply to the “ideal” body that we see all over the place in the media. The funny thing is, the vast majority of people do NOT look like whatever the “ideal” body is at any given time. So it’s kinda weird when you think about it, that we want to conform to an ideal that is actually quite rare, rather than wanting to conform to what most of our peers and most of society actually IS. 

All this is not to say that we should not want to get fit and be at a healthy weight range for our body type, height, age, gender. We should! This should be a goal for all of us. But it should be because we want to reach and sustain being at our very best HEALTH. Because the “ideal” body will change over time anyway! 

It’s very promising that there is definitely a movement going on to give us something different, to give us the message of body acceptance and to minimize us basing our self-worth on looks. More and more people are coming to the realization that our bodies are unique, that we should strive to be the most healthy our own bodies can be, that we wasting a minute comparing our own bodies to someone else’s or what the media deems to be the “ideal of the moment” makes zero sense. It’s hard, because we are hit everywhere, all the time with messages that say otherwise. That we are not “good enough”. But it usually has nothing to do with health, only a random standard of looks. 

But in order to really be a healthy society, we need almost a revolution to get us all embracing GOOD HEALTH over an “ideal” body type. The fact is, people with body types that are different from the “ideal of the moment” type can definitely be  considered “ideal” by all good health indicators (things like your blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar….your annual blood test “numbers” being in a good, healthy range, being within a healthy weight range, having good heart health through having good cardiovascular fitness, etc.) And a person who has the “ideal” body type of the moment may  - but also may not  - actually be considered healthy. We don’t know by just looking at them if they are eating well and being physically fit or in good health. So we should not judge someone’s health solely by their looks, and you shouldn’t judge your own health by whether you look like the “ideal” body type of the moment. And what really is important, or should be, IS being in good health. Our goal should be to want to live as long and healthy a life as we can, to have the good health to prevent disease, and to be able to feel energetic and have the ability to do the things we love to do, for as long a time as possible. 

Just to show you how ridiculous it is to try to be something that we may not be, or that we’d have to harm our bodies, self-esteem or emotional health to be, here is just a bit about how body types have changed through the centuries and decades. (Would love to include photos here to better illustrate, but many are proprietary. But go Google and have a look yourself online if you’re ever interested!) 

You may think that “ideal” body types is a relatively recent thing, but it’s not. Even way back in the paleoithic era around 2.5 MILLION years ago, there was an “ideal” shape. Art has been found which show a curvy, almost hefty form of women’s bodies that would have not been realistic for all, but which likely represented a woman who could look like that being a very fertile woman who could easily survive. Very voluptuous and well-nourished was considered ideal.  In Ancient Greece, sculptures showed the ideal body for the time, which for women featured largish hips, full breasts, perfect symmetry, and a curvy, soft stomach.

Curvy women’s bodies were considered the ideal form pretty much for millions of years up until the early 1800s. Around that time, looking pale, weak, thin, sickly and frail was considered “ideal”. Many famous poems and stories were written about this “ideal” women!

In the late 1890’s came the first of what we would now call a “model”. Around this time and moving into the 1900s the ideal started including “boobs”. A large bust was preferred, and, though it was still popular for girls to look a little soft and round, the trend towards a thinner ideal was beginning. Around this time it wasn’t just art that represented the “ideal”, but other media and “models” started becoming more part of society. 

Around 1914 and just beyond, during the First World War, women started to gain a bit of power as they became more a part of the work force (not that women hadn’t ALWAYS done work but I mean the formal workforce). Flappers also came on the scene around time and the combination of them and women feeling more power like men, being in the workforce and for the first time the “ideal” was NOT a curvy, soft and “fertile” look. Women wanted to look like the ideal of being thin, having no curves. Looking “flat” and boyish (even chopping their hair really short) became the “ideal” that women were wanting to look like. Some say this was a time when women felt more free. But it also marked the time when for the first time people became obsessed with their weight. Weigh scales became a “thing”, pretty much everyone had a mirror or could look into a full-length one in a store (this hadn’t always been the case!). This is thought to be the time when our pretty  much obsession with body types, shape and weight started. Because people could fully see themselves, weigh themselves (they didn’t, before now) and could compare themselves more to others. 

In the 1930s, during the Depression, women were too busy trying to survive to care much and a more curvy body “ideal” reappeared. No one wanted to look super thin or practically starving during these hard times. 

In the 50s and early 60s, things were much better. The “ideal” woman once again was a bit more curvy, voluptuous, and with a big bust. The hourglass look was considered ideal. Big boobs, tiny waist, curvy hips, thin legs.  Think Marilyn Monroe and Sophia Loren! Now, they would not be considered thin. During this time, though, movie stars were still thinner than the average woman. And even though movie stars of that era would now be considered “heavier” and more curvy than models and movie stars nowadays, they were still back then considered thinner than the average woman of the era and though most had a large bust and “curves in all the right places”, they still had lower body fat than most women at the time. So this was an era when the average woman was starting to be pressured to look like a movie star, who was not average in body type. 

Though the late 1960s and early 70s, being really thin was considered the “ideal” body type. Particularly in the 70s, there was a real emphasis on losing weight and having a thin body. 

The 1980s brought in a time when models, “supermodels” in fact, really became the “ideal”. The ideal body type was tall, thin, but a BIT more athletic-looking, a bit more toned and fit, but still with no curves. These models were still much thinner than the average women. But many became real superstars and women felt pressure to fit into clothing that was made for the supermodel body type. Strict dieting and weight loss was no longer enough to fit into clothing or be the “ideal size”. On top of that there was also now the added pressure of exercise (think: Jane Fonda and the aerobics craze) to achieve a toned look.

In the 1990s, the ideal body was very skinny and large breasted (think: Pamela Anderson and the Baywatch babes). This body type looked kind of like a Barbie doll and was really just about an almost impossible “ideal” to meet for most women. Also during the 90s, with the Supermodels of the time, an extreme thinness was popular, waif-like and almost looking deathly and frail like way back in the early 1800s (think: supermodel Kate Moss, who once was quoted as saying “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”. It’s no wonder eating disorders became so prevalent in society. The 1990s actually was the time when the “ideal” body type was the thinnest it had ever been before or since in our history. Thinner than even the late 1960s or the early 1800s. 

More recently, in the 2000s, the ideal shape is one that may have to be purchased and cultivated through artificial means. In essence, women are buying an unattainable fantasy.

History shows us that Western models of the ideal female body have repeatedly cycled from voluptuous to slender for centuries (we can even see this pattern through the last 70 years). In 2012 the skinny craze persists, but “big as beautiful” is also making its way into the headlines as the curvier figure fights its way back (think Kim Kardashian).  (Did you know, by the way, that people are injecting stuff into their butts to get that big booty look? The clue is there is no way to build your booty muscles (really, the glute muscles) without also working your legs. If you are not overweight, a  particularly “big booty” without well-defined, strong, muscular legs (quads and hamstrings) doesn’t happen naturally. How’s that for chasing an “ideal of the day” rather than putting in the work at the gym, having good health through strength training and fitness?) 

 Luckily we're stepping into an age where the media is beginning to celebrate diversity of race and body type — though there's still a long way to go. Even the fashion industry is making efforts to seek out and a wider range of body types that are healthier. Instead of stressing out a whole large portion of the population who is trying to fit into unrealistic body stereotypes (and clothing!)  why not actually reflect real women? This seems like a no-brainer. But we DO seem to be moving - slowly - in this direction especially as we are starting to band together and demand it!  Even TIME magazine is very slowly moving on this. Compare this cover from the 80s to this one from 2016 where the Barbie doll got re-vamped to look more realistic. Part of this was likely due to a significant drop in sales over the years, but big progress comes to lots of small steps. So even this small move on Barbie’s part - to make dolls in more realistic shapes and to reflect our diversity in society too - is getting us closer to reflecting and supporting reality rather than some unattainable-for-most ideal.

The thing is: most of the historical standards of body type and beauty were based on a drawing, piece of writing,  or a painting of some man's fantasy! And in more recent decades we have seen that with touched up, altered photos.  Photo-altering software is everywhere and has made models and celebrities  - who already don’t reflect the average person’s body, look even more  unattainably “perfect”. In fact they don’t even look exactly like their photos do, in real life themselves!  There is no way we can live up to a fictional piece of art or a masterfully altered photograph. And as I’ve shown, the standard of what is “ideal” or “perfect” or what we should aspire to looking like,  has changed so much over history.  Think about fashion, and how much that has changed over the decades. You probably would never pull out an outfit makeup or hairstyle from certain decades in your past unless you were dressing up for something like a fun 80’s party, right?   So it’s the same thing with these unrealistic “ideal” body types. They change over time and they are all  just temporary ideals that are based on someone’s ideas and whatever trends are around. Most importantly, none of this has anything to do with GOOD HEALTH! And  good health should be the only reason we work on making our bodies the best they can be. 

If your body isn't considered "perfect" today? Who cares! "Perfect" is an illusion that no one can attain and what is “perfect” now can easily change. So, be happy with the body you have and celebrate all the things that make up your gorgeous, imperfect self.

So yeah let’s all work to get our selves and our bodies to be at our very best health. We SHOULD work on our strength, flexibility and cardiovascular health. We should want to maintain a healthy weight range by eating a healthy diet which allows us to sustain that healthy weight for the long-term. But beyond that, our bodies are all so unique. The next time you dwell on your body as being less than perfect, remember how “perfect” is constantly changing over time even though the basic form of our bodies is not.

Inspiration Spark!: So let’s all just aim for good health, feel the joy that comes with feeling our best and knowing we are at our best - and go shake what our mamas gave us! That’s the feeling that you get when you free yourself from the expectations of random others - you get the freedom and joy of having no limits and focusing on becoming the best and healthiest YOU can be - whatever that means for YOU!

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